Pink Cucumbers and Angels
by AngelsCondom
Summary: Written in response to a fic request from Buttbrothers on tumblr. Castiel is left alone in the hotel room of the week- and he discovers the dildo in Dean's bag. But, being Castiel, he has no clue what it is. Hilarity ensues.


_AN: Hey people. This is a quick oneshot for Buttbrothers on tumblr, in response to their request for someone to write a fic about Castiel using a dildo/vibrator. Here you go, hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think, lovelies 3! _

Dean and Sam had gone out, hunting something, Cas supposed, but they had said that they could handle it. And of course, he was respecting personal space now. So he had decided to wait in the hotel room. He had been sitting on the bed for an hour now, staring on the same spot on the wall and trying to ask it why it was there. So far, it hadn't responded.

Finally, Cas stood up. He had been alone before, of course, but not often was he in the mood to linger in one place on earth and look at things. Watching people was usually more important- seeing how they laughed, learning how to be like them. Watching their tears, knowing he could take away the pain, but knowing at the same time it wouldn't be… right. He supposed those were the right words. People needed to feel emotion like Castiel needed a vessel- it was part of life on earth. And even if it felt bad at the time, it was necessary to have the bad times to accentuate the good. Castiel thought he was learning well.

He looked around the room, not with his eyes but with his grace. It was still more natural for him to do everything the angelic way- so much easier, not having to turn every which way in order to take in things through mundane human eyes. But using grace had its disadvantages as well- that Cas saw things he wouldn't have seen with his human eyes, and that made him curious. Like the small thing in Dean's duffle of clothing that wasn't there the day before. And just like that, Cas was intrigued. Dean hadn't told him he had picked up anything new.

In a moment, Cas was at the bag, undoing the zipper. Then the thing was in his hand. It was long and round, ovular like a cucumber… why would Dean have a pink cucumber in his duffle bag though? Castiel tried to bite the end, but nothing happened other than the… taste, that's the word… of rubber appearing in his mouth. It didn't bend, either- Castiel tried to bend it over his knee. It didn't talk, Castiel realized after attempting to converse with it for approximately three quarters of an hour. Well, either it didn't converse or it was extremely antisocial. It was slightly soft too- like a limb of a body- specifically one unique to the male anatomy. Castiel opened his eyes as the idea dawned on him. Perhaps…

He glanced with his grace into the wastepaper basket, finding what he was looking for quickly. Within moments he had the gaudy packaging in his hands, a picture of a purple version of the thing in his hands being submerged into the anus of a faceless woman. Inside was an instruction manual. Cas wished they had one of these for angels on how to be human- it would have been quite helpful- but Dean must be well versed in the use of 'dildo with three vibrating speeds- the best there is!''s in order not to need this how-to guide.

Another twenty minutes later, Castiel had committed the booklet to memory. It hadn't been lengthy, and the language was quite crude, but Cas believed he had a reasonable idea of what it was used for. Well, if Dean found pleasure through using this, perhaps there was something Castiel could learn. He had found imitating Dean to be quite useful in being human- this might be important to know. Besides, Castiel was finding he usually liked what Dean liked.

Settling on the edge of the bed, Castiel removed his clothing. The booklet had warned this could get messy. He walked naked over to Dean's duffle bag, figuring that if Dean had this, he must also have the lubricant the booklet had mentioned. Soon enough, he found a sizeable tube in one of the side pockets. Dean was getting to be predictable- Cas hardly ever needed to read his thoughts to know what he was thinking anymore. Cas settled back on the edge of the bed, spreading his legs open and glancing down.

The booklet had said to 'prep' first. Castiel had puzzled over that step, so he ignored it for now. He rubbed the lubricant over the 'dildo' and smeared a bit around the entrance to his anus. Placing the thing against the hole, he pushed gently. Nothing happened.

He glanced down, pushing slightly harder, but it didn't budge in. Well, it did slightly, but it caused his vessel pain, so he stopped. This wasn't right... Perhaps the 'prep' step was important after all. He placed the dildo on the bed and thought. Dean had brought women back to the hotel before, and before Castiel had known it was indecent to watch, he had observed their encounters. Prep. Well, it wasn't the lube. That hadn't worked. There had been once that Dean had 'brought home' a male partner, and since the man did not have a vagina, they had used his rear opening as well. That time, the man had used his fingers to stretch Dean's arse hole open. Castiel remembered the word prep being used-

He looked down in surprise at his crotch, seeing his own member twitching against his thigh, and steadily stiffening. It surprised him- it had done this occasionally, but never when he was on his own, only when he was around Dean… Well, that explained why he was… 'getting hard', he thought… at the thought of Dean's open arse. It seemed Dean had this effect on his vessel. Or perhaps it was Castiel he had an effect on. Cas noted to look farther into the matter another day.

Back in the moment, Castiel experimentally prodded his own hole with his finger. It slid in a bit, but the ache was there again, a stinging pull. He pulled it back out. His eyebrows scrunched together out of habit now, showing his confusion to the world. This had felt good when the man had done it to Dean. Or so the obscene moans had lead Castiel to believe. And the use of his father's name in vain. Castiel had chosen to ignore that instance of Dean's profanity. Perhaps…

Castiel squirted a bit of the lube onto his finger, rubbing it on before trying again to slide it inside of him. This time, it slid in easily. The ache was still there, the stretch, but it wasn't so bad- in fact, it felt quite good. He slid his finger in and out a few times. More pleasure. Eager for more, Castiel shoved in another finger. He paused at the sudden sting again, but it was manageable. He slid the two fingers in and out a few times experimentally, and soon the sting turned to a slow burn, and the pleasure returned. He was doing quite well at this, he thought.

He hesitated a moment before slowly working in a third finger, forcing him to shift his angle slightly. He expected the pain this time, and worked through it. It was a strange sensation- but, Cas finally decided, a good one. Cas brushed something inside of him then, something he hadn't felt before. It caused sparks of pleasure to run up his back, down his stomach, and straight to his cock, as Dean called it. But at the same time, it caused him to clench all of his muscles, bringing back the ache again. Taking a deep breath, Cas decided to do this the human way, the way Dean would have to do it. He didn't use his grace to take away the pain and relax his legs- he rubbed them with is other hand and waited, gently unclenching them. Once he finished this, he sighed, a new appreciation for how difficult it was to be human settling inside him.

Experimentally, he reached up with his fingers again, feeling around for a moment before he found that spot, the one that had startled him before. When he brushed it this time, he was prepared. The sparks flew again, but he kept himself relaxed and observed the sensation. Well, perhaps being human wasn't _all_ bad…

Castiel removed his fingers. He was pretty sure that prepping was only supposed to be 'preparation' for the main event. He couldn't remember where he had heard that term, but it sounded right. He tilted his head to the side at the empty, hungry feeling the lack of fingers was causing him now. Strange. Grasping the long, pink dildo in his hand again, he reapplied the lube. He had learned his lesson about using it. Made everything much better.

This time, the dildo slid in easily. Not quite as easily as his fingers had, since it was bigger, but easy nonetheless. The stretch was there again when it got wider than his fingers ad been, but after pausing a moment, he resumed pushing it in steadily. Soon, he was lying on the bed with his knees bent and up, his ankles braced against the board at the foot of the bed as he pushed it in and out, in and out, every now and then brushing that spot that made him moan out of pleasure. It took him a number of times moaning to realize that he was moaning Dean's name.

His finger on the dildo brushed a small switch he had forgotten about. He glanced down, looking past his cock (now hard, and beginning to leak out precome), and to the dildo penetrating him. The switch had a soft 'v' above it… but Castiel's mind was too preoccupied with all the new sensations wracking his body to ponder what it meant. Heaven never had taught them about sex- it was a reproductive mechanism for humans. But apparently his father had forgotten to mention how… pleasurable it was.

He continued fucking himself on the toy, hitting the button absentmindedly, almost as an afterthought. But suddenly the whole world was on fire, all of the sensations were racing out of control, everything had multiplied a thousand fold. The thing up his arse had started vibrating. Cas could see why Dean had bought this. He approved wholeheartedly. He might even ask Dean where he had bought this.

Suddenly though, all of the sensation seemed to move forward, centering and collecting in his groin. He glanced up from where he had been biting a pillow without realizing it to see his cock throbbing, and suddenly he was coming, spurts of hot white liquid shooting all over his stomach and the sheets of the bed. It wasn't of concern at the moment however- he could easily dispose of it later. The dildo was still vibrating as he moved it in and out, retaining the pleasure for as long as he could. Finally, his cock lay flaccid against his stomach again.

Cas was in the process of trying to find the button again to turn off the vibrations when the hotel door opened, and Dean walked in.

"Yeah, pizza sounds good. Hey- remember, scratch the Impala, I will kick your sorry ass when you get back." Dean called to Sam, before turning around. He stopped dead in his tracks wide-eyed, taking in the sight of his angel sprawled on the bed, covered in his own cum, feathers from the pillow he had bitten through scattered in his hair, with Dean's dildo up his ass. Dean smiled. "Well, naughty angel. Need a bit of help?"

Dean walked over and grabbed Cas's cock in his hand, smiling down at the angel. The promise of something more hung in the balance, but both were ready.

"Hello Dean."


End file.
